Hello Reader
So I'm not in a high-spot so much as I am high, so this might prove interesting. A blog post written after smoking a joint? Not so original; not the first, and not the last.
My inspiration for today: my brother's girlfriend.
My brother just turned 19 last week. His girlfriend, 16 this week. She's a pretty typical high school girl with pretty typical high school problems. Lately, I've finally started to warm up to her. She and my brother have been dating for nearly a year, and although their start was relatively rocky, I can see them going the distance. Not like his last relationship.
So my brothers ex was once a friend of his current girlfriend (part of the reason they split up, like most young couples seem to do). She was a bit of a nutjob. Very tomboy-ish (much like myself), very outspoken (again, like me) but not my main issues with her. My biggest issue was that she referred to me as her "idol".
Now, if I ever went and got myself famous for any reason, there'd be so many skeletons aired out of my closet, it'd put Lindsay Lohan to shame (by the way: leave her alone. She's a fallen star, and she's got a lot of issues, but she needs help more than she needs mockery). LiLo-defending rant aside, I've done a crap-ton of things that should have killed me more time over than the amount of illicit substances running through Keith Richards's veins. I was a wild one right out of high school; went away for university and threw all my inhibitions out the window. While it did wonders for my social life, I damn near got myself killed a number of times (including almost murdered by a former flame); almost as many times as I'd attempted on myself throughout high school. I am, by no means, a role model.
Now, the stuff my brother's current girlfriend is mostly because of his ex. Y'know, petty-like, and "You stole my boyfriend." "Yeah, well your psycho-bitch-ass lost him yourself." It makes me glad that high school is such a short period in a person's life.
***
Some days I wonder how many lives would have been affected if I'd actually gone through with my first suicide attempt. I know I would have never actually met my boyfriend, though our paths had crossed at least once before that time. My best friend would have had no one to turn to when her Dad died last year. My cat wouldn't have the home she has today. So many people would still be alive, and so many people would have died if not for me. Obviously I'm a big believer in the butterfly effect.
I think I'm done for now.
-le admiral
